


Blueberry Tarts and Midnight Excursions

by coconutcluster



Series: Hogwarts AU [2]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, M/M, Mutual Pining, and having friends who do the same, deceit is mentioned very briefly and is patton's twin, excessive mention of superb blueberry tarts, kitchen excursions but the fun ones that involve consuming various desserts, literally just some hogwarts-au fluff yall
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-08
Updated: 2019-05-08
Packaged: 2020-02-28 06:09:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18750586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coconutcluster/pseuds/coconutcluster
Summary: A ficlet resulting from the Hogwarts AU i have over on tumblr (@coconut-cluster) - Patton sneaks Logan out of the Slytherin dorms to the kitchens with the other 'puffs!





	Blueberry Tarts and Midnight Excursions

**Author's Note:**

> The boys are in third year here!

The sky is pitch black outside the windows in the Slytherin common room, and if Logan has to write one more sentence about tea leaves, he’s going to scream. 

To say divination isn’t exactly his _strongest_ suit would be an understatement. The history is fascinating, of course, and learning the supposed meanings of different constellations - even if they have no scientific backing whatsoever - is relatively interesting, but ever since Professor Trelawney pulled out the crystal balls and teacups, he’s been one step away from pulling his hair out; that includes now, as he tries to force himself to spout some divine nonsense about the little blob-shaped leaf at the bottom of a cracked cup from the back of Trelawney’s cupboards. (It doesn’t help that Damien finished his assigned essay nearly an hour and a half ago with nonchalant ease, and the smug grin he sent Logan on his way up to their dorm certainly added kindling to the fire.)

The point is, he’s about to pass out in the middle of the common room surrounded by blank parchment and a bright pink teacup. 

With a heaving sigh and reluctant wave of his wand, the mess scattered around him curls up into neat piles and out of the way. He’s just too- too _done_ to focus on this ridiculous assignment right now. He needs to take a break, or he’ll go insane, and he will never, _ever_ give Damien Beauregard the satisfaction of seeing him go crazy first. 

Just as he makes it through the portrait hole without a sound, though, his mind is a mess all over again. 

“Logan!” Patton whisper-shouts as they collide right outside the entrance to the Slytherin rooms, his face bright. “You’re up!”

Logan clears his throat to mask the surprised squawk he let out upon bumping into the bespectacled Hufflepuff, bracing a very-easily-knocked-over Patton by grabbing his shoulders and immediately turning red by their proximity. “Uh, yes,” he says after a moment, and his eyes catch the group of small, yellow-clad students clustered together at the end of the hall. He frowns. “What are _you_ doing up? It’s nearly midnight, Patton-”

“I know! Some of the first years had a bit of a spook earlier in Defense Against the Dark Arts, with the boggarts and all,” he adds in a quieter voice, as if the students - who Logan assumes to be the spooked first years - can hear him from down the hall, “so Remy suggested we get some late-night snacks to take their minds off it all!” 

“Oh.” Logan removes his hands from Patton’s shoulders, though he finally notices Patton’s been holding onto his wrists when the Hufflepuff doesn’t let go. “What are you doing in the dungeons, then?”

“I was wondering if you wanted to come with us! I know you’re usually up late studying, and you can use a break from that, so I was gonna try and sneak in, but you’re already out here! It’s perfect!”

Blinking rapidly as he tries to comprehend Patton’s quick, excited babble, Logan finds himself being tugged down the hall to the group still hovering at its end. “You were going to sneak into the Slytherin common rooms to get me?”

“Uh-huh!”

“…do you know the password?”

“Sure I do, silly, Damien tells me every time they update it so I can bring him some peppermint straws from time to time.” 

 _Well, that’s just blatant safety violations-_ but Logan just nods, still in a bit of a stupor as they reach the cluster of first years and start their ascent to the kitchens. The halls are surprisingly quiet as their group pads past portraits and shifting staircases; Logan, admittedly, has never traveled their vast pathways after curfew, so his image of them is painted by everyday chatter and bustle between classes. The buzzing serenity they exude now is a new (and pleasantly welcomed) change. 

They reach the kitchens far quicker than Logan expected - he knows the Hufflepuff common room and dorms are the closest to the kitchens, so his current companions definitely know their way around, but the dungeons are much closer than he seemed to realize - though there is a brief pause in their journey as the amber-eyed boy near the back of the group stops to coo at a painting of a golden doodle, and the rest of the first years (and Patton, Logan notices with a fond smile) stop to join in. Other than their intermission, though, they arrive at the golden light of the kitchens without a hitch. 

Perched on countertops and lounging around the various ovens and cabinets of the room are a rather sizable number of Hufflepuffs, and Logan realizes very quickly that the Hogwarts kitchen is far, far larger than he imagined. House elves dart between the yellow-clad students (barely any of whom are in pajamas) and offer trays upon trays of sweets and pastries to them - every kid has at least one item in their hand and a thankful smile on their face. Logan feels a bit out of place with his confused frown and dark green accents. 

“Be careful, kiddos,” Patton urges as the first years depart from his side, their eyes set on a tray of fresh cinnamon rolls that a house elf with a rather sweet smile displays from across the kitchen. “One of them always eats too fast,” he sighs, shaking his head with exasperation, though a smile quirks at his mouth. “I can’t blame them, though- Mippy makes the best rolls.”

Logan must still look wildly perplexed, because Patton glances over and laughs before grabbing the Slytherin’s hand and guiding him around a cluster of older students who munch contentedly on muffins.

“Just take what you like,” Patton tells him, and nabs a chocolate cookie off a tray as if to demonstrate. “The house elves like to see you enjoying what they make, so don’t be nervous or anything. Oh!” He nearly collides with a curly-haired girl, who gives Logan a curious look that lacks any of the contempt he expected. “I have to introduce you to Remy!” 

And then they’re weaving through the crowd like the other students are made of air - Logan begins to wonder why Patton isn’t a seeker - before arriving at the center of the kitchen, right when a voice greets, quite loudly and dramatically, “Patton, hon, over here!” 

Patton’s gaze snaps to its source, and his face lights up even more; he gives Logan an excited look as they reach a small island laden with trays and Hufflepuffs. In the middle, perched on the table’s edge with his legs crossed, is a lean, slightly older boy with dark hair that glints blue under the kitchen lights and a pair of tinted sunglasses, which is an odd sight that Logan hadn’t expected inside the wizarding school. His smile is crooked but, somehow, still perfectly charming as he greets Patton with a wave. 

“Logan,” Patton says, tugging Logan back to his side but not releasing his hand, “this is Remy! He’s a fifth year. Remy, this is my friend, Logan!”

Remy’s mouth makes a small _oh_ as Patton smiles. “Friend,” he repeats with a smirk, and Logan feels his face heat up. “Well, it’s great to finally meet you, Logan,” the Hufflepuff continues seamlessly, holding a hand out for Logan to shake, which he does with his free hand, since Patton has yet to let go of the other one. “Patton talks about you all the time.” 

Logan’s eyebrows shoot up. 

“Logan, you should get a snack!” Patton says quickly, shoving him toward a tray of tarts as Remy snickers (Logan has a feeling that, if he could see through the boy’s sunglasses, there’d be mischief clear in his eyes). 

“How’s the Slytherin house for you, hon?” Remy calls over the chatter of the kitchen when Logan returns to his spot, tart in hand. “Any fights yet?”

Logan takes a bite of the tart - it’s blueberry, and a pleasing balance between sour and sweet - and chews for a second before answering, slowly, “…not that I know of.” 

“Oh, there was a bit of hesitation there- who did you almost fight?” A few Hufflepuffs at Remy’s side chuckle, as if they’re used to his antics by now. Patton just raises an eyebrow.

“I-” He’s about to protest the suggestion, but Damien’s smug smile fills his thoughts once more, and he takes another bite of his tart. “No one,” he lies, “there’s just a surplus of unnecessary hostility.” 

Remy hums in what Logan can only assume is agreement. “I could see that.”

“You can’t see anything with those glasses, Rem,” one of the other Hufflepuffs - a lanky boy with unruly golden curls - quips, peeling at the wrapper of some dessert covered in melted marshmallow; the pink-haired girl at his side swats his arm. 

“Would you prefer I take them off, Emmett? I hate to remind you, honeybun, but your girlfriend isn’t immune to magic,” Remy retorts with a sugary-sweet tone, “and _my_ boyfriend would be very displeased to see a gaggle of lovers trailing after me.” 

Logan watches the scene with a confused gaze - Patton leans over as the rest of the Hufflepuffs snicker at a red-faced Emmett to whisper, “He’s part Veela.” 

Logan raises his eyebrows, then furrows them. “I thought Veela had light hair. And are girls.”

“Well, he’s only a fourth,” Patton shrugs, “and his dad’s a normal wizard, so it’s all in the eyes.” He gives Logan a wink, nose scrunched up with a smile as the Slytherin blushes again. “I’ve never seen his eyes, but Roman told me Emile told _him_ that they’re practically silver.” 

“Emile?”

“A fifth-year Ravenclaw. He’s Remy’s boyfriend,” he adds as an afterthought. 

Logan nods, taking another nibble of his tart as he watches Remy and the other Hufflepuffs joke around - their faces are bright and flushed from the comfortable heat of the kitchen, and more than one of them have chocolate or jam on their faces. Normally, Logan would hate this. He’d hate the noise and messiness and the jostling as kids shuffle through the crowd and mingle. 

But he can’t help but hope for a few minutes more in the kitchen. 

“What do you think of the food?” Patton asks, finally taking a bite of the cookie in his hand as he stares expectantly at Logan with those round eyes. 

“Oh, it’s enjoyable,” he says, and his smile is genuine as he finishes the last bite of the tart. When Patton doesn’t respond, Logan glances over and finds him watching the Slytherin with wide eyes. Logan frowns. “Patton? Is something wrong?”

Patton jumps, as if falling out of a trance. “No! No, I’m sorry, I just got distracted.” Before Logan can respond, the Hufflepuff tugs the tray of tarts to them and shakes his wand out of his sleeve, muttering a spell that pulls a few pastries into a little pouch, which he hands to Logan with a bright smile. “Here, you can sneak ‘em back in your dorm! Don’t tell Damien how you actually got them, though, or he might tell our parents that I’ve broken curfew.” 

Logan reaches out and hesitantly takes the bag - it’s dark blue and dotted with silver spots and lines, cinched with a sky-blue satin ribbon. “Are these constellations?” he asks, examining the dots with wide eyes. 

“Oh.” Patton stares sheepishly at his wand. “That was supposed to be for your birthday. Whoops.” 

Logan has a lot of questions - where did Patton find this? Did he make it? Why did he already get him a birthday present? Patton knows his birthday??? - but there’s a crash outside the kitchen, down the hall, followed by wild hollering that sounds an awful lot like Hogwarts’ resident poltergeist. 

“McGonagilly!” Peeves shouts as he zooms past the kitchen interest, a blur of  stripes and screamed laughter. 

Remy hops off the counter and starts ushering the Hufflepuffs into a line, pulling Logan in right along with them and behind Patton, who shares giggly whispers with a few first years. Whispered commands permeate the kitchen as the house elves package the trays of sweets and hand them to the oldest Hufflepuff students - in seconds, the students file out of the kitchen and start sprinting down the hall, footsteps and laughter silent with charms. Patton pulls Logan behind him, quick without the resistance of their robes flying behind them, until they reach the Hufflepuff portrait entrance. 

“Thanks for coming tonight,” Patton smiles, slightly breathless. 

“Thank you for taking me. That was fun,” Logan admits, and he feels a stupid smile cross his face - what a ridiculous situation, he thinks, to run from a kitchen in the middle of the night. What a ridiculous, lovely situation. “I’ll have to tag along again soon.”

Patton’s face brightens all over again as he gives a giddy laugh. “Yes, you will.” Remy reaches out of the entrance hold to tug him in, offering Logan a final wave and crooked grin. Patton stumbles in, but turns to meet the Slytherin’s gaze one last time tonight. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Lo - goodnight!”

Logan gives a wave. “Goodnight, Patton.” The portrait hole swings closed.

Logan takes a deep breath, turns on his heel, and starts back to the Slytherin dorms, a pouch of pastries in his hands.


End file.
